Oh, wait...first you have to write it.
The Care + Feeding of You
We all contain multitudes. We all have special requirements for our best care and feeding.
We often do "just fine" by cultivating the rugged, gritty parts. God knows I understand that all too well.
And if that is where you are in your life, good for you for digging in, persevering, and surviving. I honestly celebrate that dandelion aspect in us all.
Certainly, that part of us that is going to keep going no matter what happens, that can survive on buffalo wings and ramen. I know it well.
Ignore the Orchid to Your Peril
But there is a part of you that would really love to flourish. And when that part of you is ignored, when that part of you is squashed, shamed, dismissed, or abused, it languishes. That aspect of your temperament can, well, turn against you. It can start to scream, start to rebel, start to manifest itself in ways that really don't work too well.
It's different for all of us. Depending on who you ask, there are between 5 and 15 genes that help us to express our behaviour, our temperament. And, in a gorgeous metaphor that helps to explain why no expression is "good" or "bad" we can understand the expression as either "dandelion-like" or "orchid-like"
Dandelion expression is awesome. Rugged, weed-like, indestructible. Survives on cheetos and beer. Belches, changes the channel, and moves on.
Orchid expression languishes in the mere haze of the belch. Orchid expression might be seen as that quiet voice you need to really focus in on to hear. The one that wants to avoid those fluorescent lights. The one that is begging you to go to sleep earlier, avoid a certain friend, asks you to spend more time in the woods.
Of these 5 to 15 genes, each can have different expressions, and those expressions are more predominantly dandelion-esque than orchid-like. So this idea that some of us are super sensitive and some of us are rugged is just not true.
We all have the capacity to get strong, rugged, gritty, and to persevere.
We all also have the capacity to languish. Our orchid-expressions need extra care. And if life happens in a certain way, at a certain time, or - honestly, god knows why - that aspect of our behaviour will express itself in a maladaptive way.
Depression, anxiety, bipolar, psychosis. It can happen.
We can try using alcohol, gambling, shopping or other distractions. Sometimes that works for awhile.
But I am here to tell you that until you learn your own care and feeding, you will not flourish and you may well get sick.
I have a quick introduction to self care first aid that is a start. Learn to take care of yourself. Start today. It's really important. You are precious.